Kinda Adulting

Turns Out, We Still Don’t Know

• Simone, Jordan, & Elise • Season 4 • Episode 93

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0:00 | 51:55

Four years later, we’re still kinda adulting.

In this reunion episode, Elise, Simone, and Jordan revisit the conversations, questions, and opinions that shaped the early days of Kinda Adulting. We look back on the big decisions we made, how our views on relationships and adulthood have evolved, and whether we would still give the same advice today.

We also talk about why the podcast ended without a goodbye, what life looked like during the hiatus, and what we’ve learned in the years since.

Turns out growing up doesn’t mean having all the answers.

Welcome back to Kinda Adulting!

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SPEAKER_02

Hi everyone. We're so excited to bring back kinda adulting and reconnect with you as we step into this next chapter of our lives. As we're getting back into the groove of recording consistently, we didn't want to keep these earlier episodes from you. This episode was recorded a few weeks ago when we first decided to relaunch the podcast. So you might notice we're a little bit behind real time. Over the next few episodes, we'll gradually catch up and bring you along with us. Thank you for tuning in again and for being a part of this journey. Now let's get into this week's episode.

SPEAKER_01

We are finally back. It's been a couple of years in the making since we've been able to join our beloved podcast. And we're so excited to be here and just to share some of our new perspectives. You know, we're no longer in our early 20s. We are 30s, almost 30s. Okay, yes. And even though we still feel like we're kind of adulting, we still feel like there's just so much things and experiences to be had. And so we thought that this would be the perfect time for us to come back and just, yeah, like we do. So I'm Simone.

SPEAKER_05

I'm Elise. And I'm Jordan.

SPEAKER_01

And how's everyone doing on this lovely Wednesday?

SPEAKER_03

We we are here. We are here. We are kicking it. We are alive. Thank the Lord. Um, yeah. Today was a long day at work.

SPEAKER_05

I don't know. I am in a funk today. I don't know. Like, you know, when like not gonna lie, I walked by this box, like this like package box in my apartment. I just kicked it and I was like, gosh, at least, like I know. I was like, whoa, um, whoa there. Like, don't you yeah, I don't know. I've definitely been in a funk this week and today it was just like just the boiling of it. Um other than that, I'm like waiting for DC to be sunny again. It's like so dreary looking. It's just like a pocliptic is the word. I forget. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, hopefully we can turn your energy around with a good little yap yap and some reflection.

SPEAKER_05

Um I got some ice and cookies, so that's cool.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that's good. I'm actually starting to get on the lookout for those because I really need some thin mints in my life.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I've seen them ever.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I feel like they have they were definitely like $350 back in the day. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05

Six dollars. And quite as a cat, there was no children selling the cookies when I bought them. They were two grown adults. Uh the parents be on it.

SPEAKER_01

You said selling or like on the box?

SPEAKER_05

No, selling. There was no children present when I bought them.

SPEAKER_01

I wouldn't have bought those cookies. I support the children. I just I mean, I would assume that smile in my face, you know.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, I mean, it I thought about that. I paused and I said, hmm. And I said, well, maybe the girl is just busy.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, Girl Scout cookies, little girls, whatever. Guys, that was our intro. Um, we have so much more to talk about. We're all doing, I guess, better. Elisa's having a bad day, you know. Um, but we're gonna turn that around. And so you guys stay tuned for our episode. We're gonna have a little combo just around us reuniting. It's been a while, and you guys might have had some questions since the last time. So, you guys stay tuned. So, in our new iteration of Kinda Adulting, we are always going to start our episode with an adulting fail. Um, this can be an adulting fail from one of us. In this instance, we would like to talk about a popular football player. And so this week's adulting fail is just gonna be about when is it time to, you know, take a correction for a mispronunciation of a word? And when do you really sit in it and argue your point? You know what I mean? Um, you know, for example, Cam Newton, our beloved Auburn star, was on his podcast with Lady London, and you know, he described his style as enclectic. Uh many people heard that, huh? What do you say? Enclectic.

SPEAKER_05

Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01

Many people heard that and said, Cam, what is that? Never heard of that word. Lady London herself said, and um, he continued to say enclectic. She said, What word is that? Asked him to spell it. And he ended up spelling enclecta. Uh N-C-L-E-C-T-A.

SPEAKER_03

Almost spell, etc.

SPEAKER_01

As you can imagine, mass confusion. He then proceeded to go on another podcast. Um, forgot what my girls' names were, but it's a podcast out of Dallas. And he continued to continuously, oh no, no, no, I'm sorry, he had them on, but he continued to say Poor Minds Inc. As if this was his new word. Um, I want to also note in his conversation with Lady Linda, he said it was his word, his, his word, he made it up. And so, as we are all professionals, we have tons of conversations, meetings with people, communications. Sometimes you're gonna mess up a word, you know. When do you fight back and make up your own word and spelling and and and definition? And when do you just kind of give in and say, hey, I made a mistake, my bad, you're right. It's eclectic, like Marion Webster said. You know, what are your thoughts on this situation?

SPEAKER_03

Well, I read a lot, and so whenever I mess up a word, I'm like, okay, well, I was reading a lot when I was a child. I didn't really have to say it aloud. So I was one of them people when it came to popcorn learning, I mean popcorn reading, like I can comprehend the word.

SPEAKER_05

Saying it out loud, I'm a little more phonetic. It was it was like reader scholastic or something. Is that what you're talking about?

SPEAKER_03

Like, no, just the popcorn reading in class. You know how the teacher would be like, okay, now you read. You read this picture. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I was a superstar popcorn reader, actually.

SPEAKER_03

No, but I did read all the books above my grade.

SPEAKER_05

I mean, I don't know, because my grandmother says words wrong, words wrong all the time, and she corrects me, but I'm like, like weekend, like she says weekend. And I'm like, you know, it's like there's like a E and D to it, you know, but Southern accent. My grandfather says words wrong all the time as well in his deep southern accent. I don't know. I feel like sometimes you gotta just take it to the chin. Like some words I've decided that are gonna be words. I'm not gonna lie to you, at my age. Like some words I just feel like I should just be able to say. Nothing, you know, nothing comes to mind. Yeah, give us an example. Worser. I understand that's not a word, but it is effective. Worser? Like something's like worse and worser.

SPEAKER_01

We put it together. We did figure that out.

SPEAKER_05

Now everything is and then um naked. I know it's supposed to be naked, right? It's neck, but I say naked. Yeah, Jordan also Jordan was committed to mispronouncing my name.

SPEAKER_04

I thought this was just a nice one.

SPEAKER_05

No, no, Jordan was committed to me. Jordan was committed to mispronouncing my name for a while. And she recently, she and then I talked to her about it, like maybe like last year. I was like, and she was like, No, like I'm gonna call you this instead. And I was like, Okay, well, you know, that's fine too, because my grandmother, my name is Elise. Jordan says Elise. And then when I was saying, talking about myself one day, she said you're missing your name. No, it's okay.

SPEAKER_03

I said, Why are you mispronouncing your own name? Me, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

I disagree with I don't know if I've been calling you Elise all these years. You don't think I've ever been corrected?

SPEAKER_05

No, you call me Elise. Okay, you call me Elise, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't know that. Yeah, okay. Well, but it's like I feel like the point of the matter is taking it on the chin does not mean that you say it is a word and then you spell it completely wrong. That implies that one, you've never heard of this word, you're just trying to use it, and two, taking it on the chin is also just saying, like correcting yourself in the moment. You don't proceed to go on another podcast and keep saying enclecta, and then when they say, Is there a reason we're saying enclecta? He's like, Yeah, because it's that's my word. What are we talking about, Cam? What are we talking about?

SPEAKER_03

Stop trying to make that happen.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Worser, it's getting worse. Anyways, do you guys have adulting fails of this week, or we're just gonna leave it with Cam?

SPEAKER_03

I do well, it's not my adulting fail. I'm I'm doing other people's adulting fail that I happen to be the party of. So your girl wore her little fro to work today. They rarely ever see my natural hair. Um this man of another of another flavor told me, hey Jordan, do you drive a fast car? Like, no, I drive a Honda. He was like, no, like you're you're missing it. You kind of look like Tracy Chapman, like you can be her sister. Now I don't talk about black women, especially not to be other races, right? But in that moment, I said, What do you mean by that? What do you mean? HR and the way you said it was like you know that song, right? And I'm like, no, I'm not saying nothing about that lady. That is a nice lady. However, calma, we don't look alike. If we want to say that somebody looks like somebody and it's a black person, let's just not say it. I think we can just keep it in our heads because most likely you're wrong. Yeah, you're wrong. We don't look alike. So it wasn't my adulting though. I just was the victim of it.

SPEAKER_04

Unfortunate, Jordan.

SPEAKER_05

I'm so sorry. I don't know. I thought we kind of leave it at Jordan. That's that's pretty good. I don't know. I don't have anything. I feel like I don't have anything memorable right now. That's funny. That's funny. I'm sure I have this weekend. I've just forgotten already. These people stress me out.

SPEAKER_01

As we continue, we'll do a better job about writing these down. But anyways, thank you guys for catching up on our adult team fill of the week. Cam Newton, do better. I think we all need to be willing to take some criticism correction in this life. Okay, we cannot get better if we don't. Anyways, in the next segment, we'll have our discussion where we'll try and offer our thoughts on a topic that relates to us being in our late 20s. Okay, guys, welcome to our discussion. We wanted to start off today just being that this is our first episode back after a couple of years with some reflection. When you guys listen to, you know, past episodes, do you feel embarrassed, disconnected, or proud?

SPEAKER_05

Um I don't know. I feel like the version of me podcasting. I don't know. I feel like I think we um I think we're just a lot of a lot of us are I feel like we're still like very much the same people um and like who we are. I guess if I listen to my old old podcast, I think now it's more like, oh my god, you were sharing a lot. Like you sharing a lot. So probably what I would feel more of like clutching my pearls about things.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I definitely can agree with that. Like listening back, first of all, I don't even like hear my voice back. I'm like, ew. But it's so funny, like talking to people about how we used to have the podcast. Like, oh yeah, I used to have the podcast, used to do da-da-da-da. People are like, oh my god, that's so crazy! Like, that's so cool, that's so amazing. I'm like, I mean, yeah, we like I don't think I realize how much time and effort we put into it and how much people actually talked or like listened to it, reflected on it, and like it stuck with people, like our friends talking to us about certain things, and we're like, huh, even to this day. And it's just like, oh, you said it on the podcast. I'm like, oh yeah, I forgot that was a part of my life, and it was like very impactful. Um, but I do think that the rawness of it all is very relatable, and so that's kind of what kept us going, one, and then also kept our listeners listening. So, although me, Jordan, now is like, oh god, like that was a lot, right? I wouldn't change it. I think just moving forward, I mean, we already had the discussion, you know, behind the scenes, but moving forward, we want to be a lot more intentional about what we do share. Um, but still having that same rawness, still having that same like real deal feelings, but just a little more polished. Your girls are pushing 30, grown in sexy vibe. So we have to be a little more polished in learning our lessons now.

SPEAKER_01

I definitely agree. I I do not feel embarrassed. I actually feel really proud of what we were able to accomplish with no experience and just dedication and creativity. Um, and like Jordan was saying, when I look back on that time or when I talk to people about it, I don't think we always realized how impressive it was for what we were able to do. Um, and I really do appreciate the rawness of it. I can tell it was raw when I listened to certain thing episodes, and I'm like, what were you even talking about? Um I do still feel connected to that person. I just think that she's just a little more mature now, right? Uh has lived just a little bit more life, and there's just a level of uh comfort that I have, I guess, like within myself now that you know back then it was like you never knew if you were saying the right thing or if you're saying too much. Um, and so I hope that we're able to relay that also as we move forward with the podcast. Um, and then lastly, what do you got what feels the most different about sitting here right now?

SPEAKER_05

I think what feels most most different is like that I think I think what's most more different is that it is kind of strange being the same people, like we are like knowing each other, we're still the same people. Um, but like we've all like lived like different lives. And I think it's different because like I feel like we're not as interconnected as we used to be. So I think it's different. It's like kind of talking with like French strangers in a sense, right? Like even with Jordan. Jordan and I talk more lately, but like even so sometimes I feel like Jordan lives in Tulsa, like I feel like we've like all in very different lives sometimes, and they're very parallel and they're just happening and not as much of like intertwined as they used to be, um, like amongst us. So I feel like that's a little bit different, and probably the weirdest one still that I'm like, whoa, like, and you don't really realize that until you're like in back in a similar dynamic again of like what's changed.

SPEAKER_01

I definitely agree. And I think um the more consistent we are with like recording every week, which we are planning to do, we're gonna get the content out there, it brings us back together. But I definitely see what you mean in the sense of like when we first started this, it was like constant communication. Um and you know, outside of the podcast, on the podcast, whatever the case may be. So it does feel like that, but I'm excited to see how it sort of brings us back together. Um, because this is something obviously we were so passionate about and are so passionate about. Um, and we have a lot to say, and so I think it'll just be a really nice like opportunity for us to to share that with everyone. And I think keeping with this whole reunion uh theme here, we're gonna do some segments and we're going to ask specific people or one of us a question. So last time we were on the podcast, Jordan was preparing for her big move, which relates to a bigger topic of making big decisions, um, and what decisions or big decisions we've made since we stopped the podcast. So for Jordan specifically, calling you out, girl. Um point them out, point them out, point them out. Do you feel like your move, um which was cross-country, maybe what you thought it would?

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Um I feel like I've grown so much in this what three period three like almost three year period compared to like the past like five years or so. Um I feel like being in a city like Tulsa is so much slower than what I was used to in a DC or in Atlanta. So I had no choice but to sit down and sit with my thoughts. Um and I started to take care of myself more. Um I started to work out more. I started to, you know, actually go to my appointments because I pay for healthcare now. So it's just like my as well, but it's used. Um, and I feel like the connections and the relationships that I have with people are a lot stronger in a sense. Um, because it's not just you know, we just we're hang out friends because I don't have very many friends to hang out here with. Um, and there's not clubs and all this stuff. So like when I talk to people, I have to talk about their real lives and and what's going on and find out how to one be a better friend. But then also within myself, I realized like, hey Jordan, like we were going along with the flow, right? There's so much to attach yourself to in all these bigger cities. Here, I had to figure out what I wanted to do. Right? Like, I am so thankful for Tulsa, but I do not want to stay here forever. So it's just like I don't want to be here forever. So what do I need to do to well first, what do I want to do? And then what are the steps I need to do to get there? And so I feel like now I feel more emboldened to act on the ideals that I had when we first started the podcast a couple years ago. This is a whole different Jordan in a way of like facilitating the dreams that I say I have. Um, so that's like the biggest lesson I've learned since moving. And I don't know if that was the the thought of moving out here was like I'm gonna do all these different things, but that's what it turned out to be, and I'm very thankful for that.

SPEAKER_01

I think that's really nice, and I I think it shows a lot of your growth.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

Kudos to you, because I think when you first told us, we were like, What? Yeah, uh you can tell how much it's really just sort of shaped you uh over the years. Uh, did you ever consider moving back to DC?

SPEAKER_03

Every day. I'm like trying to figure out a way to get there, but it's just also like it was cool when I was living in Tulsa with my DC salary. Now I'm in Tulsa with a Tulsa salary, so like moving from Tulsa to DC, that's like backwards.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

It was just like, if I'm gonna move, it needs to be for a reason or paid or both. So that's just kind of where we're at with that one.

SPEAKER_05

But I will say Jordan came to DC to visit when was that was like a year and a half ago. Actually, not even to visit me, actually, Clive's club. She texted me and said, Hi, I'll be staying at your apartment from these dates, thanks in advance. And I said, Okay, mind you, I was in Alabama. So like Jordan got into my apartment before I was even like I was traveling. Absolutely did. So she like I left a key and she was able to get in. I didn't see Jordan.

SPEAKER_03

I barely saw Elise. I was until Sunday. Jordan is your Thursday. I got it.

SPEAKER_05

That's a good thing. Well, that's Sunday.

SPEAKER_03

Quiet is kept when we were recording. Elise was always at my house when she stayed in Atlanta.

SPEAKER_01

So this is I had to pay that.

SPEAKER_05

I had to get out, man. Cause I was like, I gotta be where I belong. But yeah. Yeah, Jeremy moved to Tulsa. I feel like even still when I talk people, I'm like, oh, my friend lives in Tulsa, and they're like, what? And I'm like, yeah. They're like, she moved from DC. I'm like, yes. Oh, like, does she have family out there? No.

SPEAKER_03

And Elise is always like, whenever she tells people, they're always like, What about the tornadoes? There's actually my tornado on Friday.

SPEAKER_01

Well, we're literally from Georgia.

SPEAKER_03

Literally. And so it's actually supposed to be a tornado on Friday. So my friend was like, Do you have anywhere to go? Like, do you have a bunker to go to if there is a tornado? Said, What? There's a tornado supposed to be happening this weekend. They're like, Yeah. So I'm trying to find a way.

SPEAKER_01

I did see twisters, and that ain't none to play with.

SPEAKER_03

Girl. They have bunkers for you?

SPEAKER_01

No, that's that's tornado alley up in there. Yes. Okay, Oklahoma is where people go to study tornadoes. You should watch the movie Twisters. It's a bit scary, but um just to finish off that segment, would you guys would you say Jordan? And then I think everyone just over the years, do you feel like the decisions that you have made, um, especially Jordan with your big move across country, uh, do they drive you to trust your intuition more or less?

SPEAKER_03

Oh sh I absolutely to trust my intuition way more. Um yes, the question and the answer is yes, to trust my intuition more.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like I'm back and forth, but I am go in this year. My focus is getting to that point. Of I don't care what nobody's gonna say. This is what my mind telling me to do, this is what I'm gonna do. You know what I mean? Um, being less inclined to ask for other people's opinions and taking that into such consideration. So okay, next segment. Listeners remember us talking a lot about being the single friend and many of Elise's stories about watching others hit milestones first, about friendships fading quietly. But those conversations were mid-chapter for Elise. You spoke openly about being the single friend and navigating that emotionally. Do you still identify with that label? And what's some dating advice you would give uh to others about surviving that scene that season?

SPEAKER_05

Um surviving the season? I'm not going to war, my lord.

SPEAKER_01

About surviving the season and like any wisdom that you can provide.

SPEAKER_05

I have no wisdom.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

I know wisdom about dating. I'm very much still a single friend. I will say, like, it wasn't up until maybe like two months ago that I was like actually got upset about being single. Like, I feel like I've never felt upset about being single. I have people, my friends, who have felt that way. And I I don't really know. I think for a couple of reasons. I think one living in DC, I feel like people are social. So I feel like I have my friends and people to hang out with if I a majority of the time I would say, like, if I want to hang out with someone, like I could if I initiated it and it was like pre-planned, maybe like not as like last minute. Um, I also think that like again, like my goals is really like career and figuring out like what I want to do and like my impact on the world and like purpose. And I feel like that consumes me a lot, like transparently emotionally. So, like the idea of like um, I've not been intentional with dating, I would say. It wasn't maybe like two months ago, I was like, oh, I should be intentional, and then it was like dark and like not nice weather. So I was like, uh yeah, like maybe I should wait to like meet people when it's warmer. Um, and the things that like I have been dating, they've kind of just come to me. Like where if I've been out or such, like I've not, I've not turned it down. I've just not been intentional with it. And it's only more lately because I feel like I need a life partner, like it's it's more like adulting is hard, and I need a life, like a partner in life to help me do that. And I don't need, but I would like it, I should say, because um it would be nice, and I would like also like do that for somebody else as well. But yeah, very much a single friend. I love being a third wheel. It's a great time. I love being a third wheel. I don't know why third wheels get bad reps. It's a great time. Not not Jordan, calm down. Jordan asked me to be a third wheel recently and I declined. Um, but because she wonders, like, can you move to Texas? No, I don't want to move to Texas. But I would say I have a great time being a third wheel. I know how third wheels get bad reps, like it's great. Like, it's cool. This would be already pre-planned. You can just be in the corner, nobody looking for you. You shouldn't, I said I'm small, so I sit in the backseat and I'd be having a great time in the backseat of the car. It's great. They stop by as you want any snacks. I love being in third wheel with my friends. It's a great time. I don't, yeah, don't be the bad rap around it.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Well, to just note something that you said, uh, and something I was gonna follow that up with, but you mentioned that you just recently got upset. I don't know if it was just seasonal feelings, you know, being in the house and it being snowy outside. But do you feel like that had anything to do with timeline? And um, you know, has that caused more anxiety around this topic for you as you've gotten older?

SPEAKER_05

I don't know if it's caused like looking at my friend's anxiety. I don't think that's the case. I think so now to answer your question, no. I think with milestone stuff, I would I think maybe like old me, like podcast 24, maybe would have thought that. I don't feel that way. What I more feel is like I want it for me. I feel like the kind of people have like career personal milestones. Like, I felt like as I've gotten older, I don't feel the pressure of like, oh my God, I I want what they have and I want to do what they they do. I want it for myself, right? So someone's living a lifestyle or something that I like, oh that's cool. I don't say I want you to be that person, right? I'm like, I want to do it on my terms, I'm gonna do it my way. And so the idea of like, oh, like someone's like, oh, like, you know, by like X, I want to be married, and it's like that's good for them. But it's like if I were to follow that and like follow what they're doing, like that may not work out for me and I may not be happy with it. Um, so I don't feel the pressure of milestones. I'm more for the pressure of like, I would like to have a partner more. But if I'm honest right now, still it still isn't super pressing to me, but I wasn't more recently, I was like, oh god, like this would be helpful in my life. Uh, but I think it's more weirder because like people are getting married and like having kids, and I'm like, whoa, what my gosh, like it is a timeline that is happening. But not as much heartbrights anymore. No, but not as much anxiety of like I feel behind in that sense. That yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, yeah, and I definitely think um in today's time, right? Like, there's this whole discussion of the male loneliness epidemic, but also just about why women are not so pressed to be in that space, right? And a lot of people point to the fact that women have such strong relationships and dynamics, and so um they don't necessarily feel like they need a man because you know they've got great friends and their friends give them gifts and wish them happy birthday, etc. Right. I still think there's always gonna be, for most people, a longing for a partner in general, right? And so um that brings me to my last question for this segment for all of us, but how did your expectations of love and friendship evolve, right? So, speaking to the fact that we have strong friendships, in some ways they may provide some of that sort of like space for us that we maybe didn't have in a partner. How does that expectation change? And now when you are looking for a romantic partner, um, you know, what are your what are your expectations now versus you know a couple years ago? And I guess I'll just simply start. I'll start so I can provide a life update, but I am engaged, so that's definitely a major change. Speaking of big decisions, yeah, that's a major change love-wise, and um, you know, I definitely think the evolving of that was simply experiencing different people and really cementing like what my expectations were in a partner, like things I was not willing to settle on, and you know, I I I don't feel like I've settled at all in this dynamic. I feel like it really just was the right time and the right person, and um it just met my expectations. But I do feel like over the years I had to figure out what those expectations were. Um, and that's what led me here. And I just think for friendships, as I've gotten older, that we talk about low maintenance. I don't really like that term, but I definitely think it's just become more of that because life and job and whatever, and it's just simply as for me, like if I think about a person, I reach out, I text them or I call them. Because if I don't do it then, I might forget. I don't expect people to be chasing me every single day. Um, but I do have certain expectations around if someone were to pass or you know, some life-changing event and they know about it, just reaching out, you know. Um, those are some like light expectations I have in my friendships. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03

For me, I I swear that I don't want to be in a relationship and then I fall into situations all the time. And you know, we're working on it, we're trying to work on it, but like every single not every single time. Recent decisions have been better and better and better.

SPEAKER_05

I wish you could see me and Simone's face right now because I was I'm Jordan, what recent three what years since no, it's been three people since Tosa three relationships.

SPEAKER_04

This is out there now, like what?

SPEAKER_03

Give her a little roster. No, it's been two relationships. Yes, yes, yes, anyways, Elise. We're we're not that's a cute number. Elise. Anyways, um that was good, yeah. So, you know, um I'm learning, but I'm also in the space of where like I don't think I've really experimented or put myself out there when I was in college, and so like I really didn't start dating until officially until like after I graduated. So I'm quote unquote behind in that aspect, but I don't feel like I'm behind. I feel like I'm way more intentional about like what I signed myself up for or put my expectations out there. Now, following through with that is where I need to grow and transition. But I just can't help if I f if I like run into amazing people and then I just wouldn't experience them. Like that's what I want to do right now.

SPEAKER_01

Love just knock you down.

SPEAKER_03

Cause I really don't be looking. I really don't.

SPEAKER_01

Sometimes love arms around.

SPEAKER_03

But um also I date women, so that's a whole other avenue. I've had some new haul experiences I do not recommend.

SPEAKER_04

Zero experiences, huh?

SPEAKER_03

You don't know what that is. Explain it, Jordan. Yeah, so you know how they say, like when you engage women, like y'all be quick to move in together.

SPEAKER_01

You haul that. Oh, yeah, you have.

SPEAKER_03

I do know cross country. Cross country.

SPEAKER_05

Jordan, literally, my friends are always like, Okay, Portia Williams, you got people to be able to do it. My friends are always like, Jordan got another one, and I'm like, no, it's the same one. Oh no, it's a different one. Like Jordan, like I'm telling you, my friends in DC, they know Jordan got a lure. Jordan got a game.

SPEAKER_03

You know, if if we if we don't have it in our surroundings, we gotta go get it. That's where I'm at in life.

SPEAKER_01

They gotta come to us. They gotta come to us.

SPEAKER_03

I gotta get it. Exactly. I just I had a little weekend trip, but we can talk about that later.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

I think in regards to like friendships, um I'm like, I don't know. I see it more like this year. Uh oh, I just messed this up. I don't know how to describe it. I think in the sense that I'm more chill, but I I think I spent a lot more time alone. I like even though like I'm like half friends with that. I spend a lot more time alone, a lot more time by myself. And like I'm like one, I like I like being a high manage friend and I am a hype manage friend. I do just feel like it's actually wild to me how um I care less. And I don't know how to say that in a way that like is like sounds good, but like I care less. It's not as important to me like certain things. Like I think I give way more grace to people for being adults and just like figuring their stuff out. Like it doesn't, I'm also like not as um tied to people as like I thought I was. Like I think stuff before that like I would overthink or be like, oh my God, like like X happened, or like they did this to me to I would maybe ruminate on it. I'm kind of like at the point where like if people treat you bad, you kind of just move on. And like it's not always like a big thing or like a like, oh my god, a conversation. It's more like that person just may not be be aligned in that moment for you. And so you just move forward. I think as well, like I really had this idea that I had um to have a best friend like at all times, and like have a best friend in a sense that like you have the same people in your life, the level of closest that they were, like had to stay consistent throughout your life. And that's something like I really struggled with, like maybe like two, three years ago of like why are like why is my inner circle changing? And like I want the people who I was friends with, like you know, maybe like close with for the last 20 years, like should be close to me now. And it would hurt my feelings when people would kind of come out that orbit. And it was never like intentional, but happy just like, you know, life changes, people have part different life things and make them like you know, closer or more less closer, closer to you. But like now, I kind of feel people are in the moment. Like, I feel like who's ever in the moment who's in my life, like I'm okay with like I'm very at peace the fact that um relationships change, people change, and it's okay for like your inner circle to like people to come in and out of it at times. And like that's okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I definitely think it's um I think as you become an adult, right? Like more into this late 20s and early and later, um, it's important to offer grace in the sense of understanding where someone could be coming from and sort of like not taking everything to heart, but I think it's also important to offer grace in the sense of I don't need to have a big blowout with this person, like I can just move on, you know, like it just isn't the time anymore. And you know, I think as we grow older, it really is about like seasons, like sometimes people are super there for you, you know. Like, for example, for me when I played volleyball and when I was in Alabama, and now I'm in New York, or you know, like things do change, and so I think for me, like that I related to what you said about just sort of evolving with people. I think that's like the biggest lesson about adulting, and it's definitely hard, but it's just the reality of it, you know. Um, and then moving to the uncertainty segment. Listeners may remember me saying, or usually saying, it's okay not to know yet. Apparently, according to Elise who wrote today's outline, I normalized uncertainty for all of us. So um AI did it. Chat GBT is scary. Okay, Chat GBT. We're supposed to not be using Chat GBT, but that's we can move on. Um at least. Oh, oh, well. Well, to ask myself my little question. Um, how did I affirm myself in uncertain moments about figuring it out? And is there something that I'm still uncertain about? And how do I hold space for that? The answer is absolutely. Um, just for both of those little parts of that question. Um, you know, how do I affirm myself in moments where I'm trying to figure it out? I don't think I'm always great about that. I definitely don't know if I always sit in the moment and really go through all of the emotions of it. Um, but I try and I try to just offer myself grace and like understanding that I don't always have to know, I don't need to know what comes next. People provide advice or guidance, and I can adhere to some of that. But, you know, I think just reminding myself consistently that we're all figuring it out, and just because someone may look like they've got it all worked out, you know, like there's definitely other things that they're trying to determine. So it's like I don't have to put my the pressure on myself to be 100% there. Um, and I think if there's something I'm still uncertain about, absolutely, absolutely, like my career has completely taken a shift over the last two months, and I am in such a space of not knowing if I should be looking for my next corporate gig or taking such a leap of faith and doing something that's like a dream, right? Like, I don't know, I'm so uncertain, but I'm really just trying to sit in that uncertainty and can in weird confusion. And I'm hopeful that in the end I will appreciate that. Appreciate that I took the time to really just sort of sort through all my thoughts, feelings, emotions. So yeah. Um sorry, go ahead, Jordan.

SPEAKER_03

As a previous uncertain person, I, you know, a lot of the things that we talked about before was me and that uncertain that same kind of uncertainty. But I feel like you do have a really strong support system. I mean, you know, you're engaged now, of course, but even still with like your family, your friends. So I feel like if anything, like you have a very strong support system to lean on. Um, and you know, maybe lean on them sometimes, but also do what you have in your heart, which you may feel the intuition, the scary thoughts, the silent thoughts that are very calm and saying, like, do this, right? Like that's usually what you should do. And it might feel scary, it might feel weird, but like even with us in the podcast, like me doing this, I turned it into an experience for me to uh transition my life also. So yeah, just a little bit nice.

SPEAKER_01

Definitely, definitely. Um, I'm trying, girl. Um and then moving into our last almost last segment. Um, why did the podcast end?

SPEAKER_05

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

I can't I can't speak for why it actually ended. I can speak for why I left in prior in, you know, against what some people may have thought we did not have beef. We did not fall out. There was no issues. Maybe your episode was released. Last day your episode wasn't released because it just wasn't released. I don't know. I really can't remember, but trust me, there was no beef. Um, you know, for me I had to step away because of just professional things, and um I continued to do the editing for the podcast. Um, but I'll let the other girls share why it eventually ended.

SPEAKER_03

I think I was kind of the catalyst of the end end. Um for me, it was more so stress. We are transitioning, like this is real life, this is real issues and and problems that we're going through. And we come in here not to be, I guess, come from a position of like we've gone through it, but more so we're going through it. And for me, it was just a lot. And these are my friends in real life, right? So I didn't want the stress of the podcast, the stress of everything else to be a strain on these relationships. So I thought it was best that I step to the side. And since Simone couldn't record, and then just Elise wouldn't be the kind of Dolting crew, it ended like that. But your girl is back and better than ever. Still stressed out.

SPEAKER_05

We got medications now, so we got some else. I was upset the podcast ended. I really did end because I was more I was upset it ended absolutely like one of the chat GBT versions of these, multiple versions of this podcast. Outline I did because it was hard first-time backwriting an outline. Was one of the questions that I think didn't make it was like, was anyone secretly relieved, and was anyone secretly grieving? I definitely was grieving, even though I was really stressed, like I had just moved out on my own. That was a very like I didn't have how much COVID impacted me. Like being an extrovert, I did not realize how much COVID impacted me and probably until like two years later, right? When I was like, oh my God, like it stunned, like I'm an extrovert, I really feel like I need to be around people and I wasn't. I didn't I didn't know how to um deal with that. And I didn't really feel as it affected me until like later on, and like that feeling of grieving, like what you could have been during COVID. Um, but I was upset because I was just proud of how much we did. And I knew even then, like we decided to do something and just go for it. And so when it ended, it was just sad to me because I was like, oh my God, like when I didn't think we could get like 100 episodes in, right? Like probably plus. Like that was just like really crazy to me. And it felt like we were letting something go that could have been bigger. And it, I think the podcast also like helped me during that time feel confident in creating things, right? And I think COVID people did create things and they launched businesses and they did never been going after their dreams. And I feel like that was very much our vibe. That podcast was like, we cannot be stopped. And we were so adamant and we did it. And I was already feeling uncertain by like moving back to DC and living alone and et cetera. And so when the podcast ended, it made me even more uncertain of like, how can I like put stuff into the world? How can I take these risks? Because I didn't realize how much it helped me to do it with y'all. Right. And I'm very much an independent person. Y'all know, like, I be, I if I want something, I'm gonna like try to get it and how how best I can. But I definitely was upset about it because I see other people who come a comparison, real life though, like other people we started out with who are at these heights, like our peers during those times, like our other peer creators they would call now. They weren't called creators as much back then. And um, sometimes it makes me wonder of like, whoa, like what could we have been? And so yeah, that's how I feel about it. It's kind of wild to be back though, because I probably wouldn't the last one to ever think about us coming back, I promise. Ever.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, I think it's that everything you said is fair. And I feel like for me, by the time it ended, I had sort of resolved some feelings, but I definitely it was a hard exit. Um, lots of tears. Like, y'all, I literally called or cried on a Zoom call with the head of a lot of things, okay? Like, it was kind of embarrassing, but I feel like those emotions were just around the fact that like this gave me such a good outlet. I'm a yapper naturally, and I love to talk. And honestly, like if I had a dream job, it would be something like in media, right? Like just talking, and um, it gave me that outlet, and it was joyous, it was fun, and like Elise said, it was very, I was very proud. And so to have to bow out, literally, literally had to bow out was um really hard. And so um, I also like from time to time will just think about like seeing how much influencing has grown and other podcasts have grown into brands. It's like, damn, what could we have been? But you know, I think the other side is um not that we're trying to do that now, like we're not necessarily trying to reach these heights. I think for us it's about bringing this back together and regaining that outlet that we used to have and seeing what becomes of it, you know. So we gotta, I gotta let those thoughts go of like the fact that this could have been my job, maybe. I don't know. But um it's it's fun like looking into the future of just having this outlet and being creative again. Um, I think it's gonna take some time for us to get back to the mental spot that we were in, but um, you know, I'm excited about it. So we'll leave that there. Um, last thing, rapid fire. I'm only gonna do one, okay? Cause uh we who knew we could talk this long in our first episode. Um what is one thing you're excited? No, let's do this one. Define adulting now in one sentence. Go ahead, Jordan.

SPEAKER_04

These these your questions.

SPEAKER_05

Chat GBT, but apparently chat GBT I shouldn't have been using, so no chat GBT.

SPEAKER_04

Adulting? Go ahead, Elise.

SPEAKER_05

I would say it's definitely in the I feel like what came to my mind was like figuring it out no matter what. Right? Figuring it out no matter what. I had a season recently where I was like, nothing's gonna interrupt the planned programming, and I was cutthroat with like my disciplined people. Like I was like, I don't care, I gotta get this stuff done. That's what I would say.

SPEAKER_01

I would say adulting is the most chaotic, comma, stressful, comma, challenging, and confusing time that you will ever have, but extremely rewarding and fun, and also sometimes I wish I was a kid again.

SPEAKER_03

Absolutely. I think my adulting definition would be just making small decisions, and small decisions become big decisions. So it it literally is the smallest of things that are catalysts for big things in your life, and that's making a lot of small decisions like what to eat for dinner. I'm warming up a frozen quesadilla that I had last week before I left. I just threw everything in the freezer. Oh, you froze it. Okay, I literally had the takeout box, threw it in the freezer and left. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um small decisions, small decisions, what you eat for dinner each and every day could make your stomach round or flat. You know, it's air fryer.

SPEAKER_05

You're doing in the air fryer. Did it do it? Air okay. The best of it.

SPEAKER_01

I'm concerned about those preservation methods, but that's okay. Um small decisions. Do I spend money?

SPEAKER_03

No, even though I just got paid today. Um quesadilla.

SPEAKER_01

Well, we're gonna leave it there. Um, thank you guys for tuning in to our first return episode of Kinda Adulting. Bear with us. I bear with us, like you know, it's gonna take us a second to get back into the flow of things, but I think that this episode was really important for us to just just talk through some things and update you guys, and we're just really excited to be back and hopefully we reach someone um who is also not in their early 20s anymore, turned 30. And you know, lastly, oh huh?

SPEAKER_03

I was like, our listeners grew with us, so you know, you guys grew with us, so you guys are about to be 32.

SPEAKER_05

So never mind, it's okay.

SPEAKER_01

So to close off, I want to leave you guys with one line. We are still kind of adulting, just differently. So stay tuned for our next episode. Bye.